Saturday, 7 June 2014

Rangers lose to Kings in double overtime, down 0-2 in series. Good. Two more losses and justice will be served.

The Rangers lose 5-4 in double overtime to fall to 0-2 in their best of seven series against the Kings.

Good.  The Rangers shouldn't even be there.  They cancelled out Carey Price, that's the secret to their success.  We eliminated the Bruins for them.

They shouldn't be there.

Glen Healy today was talking about a goal by Chris Kreider against the Canadiens that "blew the series wide open", and I wanted to kick him in the head through my 50-inch Panaphonics.  You butthead, the game was 2-0 in the second period when that same Kreider character crashed into him skate blades full frontal.  What blew the series wide open was Carey's blown MCL, no system or team speed or King Henrik on the NY side.  You butthead.

Buttheads.  Plural.  All of you.  I'm tired of hearing about Alain Vigneault's tactics, and Derek Dorsett's speed.  You're tailoring your narrative to fit a version of events that shouldn't be.  Don't pretend there's an inevitability, a fatality about the Rangers being in the finals.  If Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers gets taken out on a cheap shot in the Conference Final, and his team does not advance as a result, I don't want the other team to be lionized for its resourcefulness, for its shrewd coach, for their feel-good Cinderella story.

I noticed Mr. Kreider on a breakaway tonight, and even when tripped from behind, found the wherewithal to brake and steer away from Jonathan Quick, and go collapse in a pathetic whiny heap in the corner while trying to draw a penalty call.  And I wondered if, or more accurately, understood that, it was a function of the shamelessness of his prior bulldozing assaults on goalies, now nicely compendiumed on YouTube, and the gajillion cameras trained on him that made him decide to not try the Fleury-Anderson-Price manoeuvre.

A pox on you Boo Shirts.  May you lose Games 3 and 4 all at once on Monday, and have a collective bathroom accident on the ice in front of your fans.

And a root canal the next day.

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